You Have What It Takes - Book Review

You Have What It Takes: What Every Father Needs to Know by John Eldredge
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This little book is an encourager to those of us who are fathers or fathers-to-be. Eldredge pulls some of the ideas here from other books of his, and it's meant to be a quick read. His main thought is that one of the aspects of being a father is to answer the question boys ask "Do I have what it takes?" and that girls ask "Am I lovely?" He touches on those questions, as well as dealing with the father's who haven't had good answers to that question growing up. There's also a chapter on dealing with your adult children and asking their forgiveness for any wounds incurred while you were raising them.

I walked away from this feeling encouraged, and knowing that despite the enormity of the role, I have what it takes to be a father.

All in all, this is a good little book worth a read for any father out there!

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Nursery Preview!

We made a video of the nursery so far!  Thought you'd enjoy a peek into our baby preparation!

Budgeting - The Gritty Details of 2012

I was having a discussion on Facebook about budgets and it made me think I should update our neglected blog.  This blog post is about how we are doing with our budgeting and our paying off debt.

Back in September of 2011 I wrote about the first budget we put together.  It was tough those first few months.  We had to be tight and focused in order to make it work.  We were learning about what each other valued and what we truly needed to buy for our household to work.

So what have we learned in the last 15 months?  What things are we doing that make a budget work?

• One of the first things we decided was to live off of the previous month's income.  This does two things:  One, it allows me to have a tangible number to work with, and two, it gives us another buffer in case we forgot to add something to the month's budget.  It took a lot of scrimping and focus to save that extra two to three thousand dollars in order to start, but it's definitely worth it.

• We are both involved in the budget.  I'm the nerd between us and I tend to spend a lot of time tweaking the budget, colour coding the main categories, and figuring out how we can afford certain things.  Brianna is the free spirit and she comes and looks through the budget when I have it pretty much finished.  Usually she approves right off the bat (mainly because we talk about stuff every so often throughout the month as it comes up), but there's a few times she asks for more money in a category or we decide there's too much.

•  We used the tax return to set aside for baby expenses.  We didn't know if we were going to get pregnant in 2012 or not, but we decided that setting aside a thousand made sense.  And I'm proud to report that the majority of the big baby items (nursery furniture, stroller, car seat, swing, and a few other things) were bought for that amount.  

• We are able to cash flow (save up and pay for) medical expenses, car maintenance and various other things that needed to be done.  For example, I had to get new contacts this summer and I had to save up for them. For two months I put what was necessary into the Vision category. 

•  Most of our expenses are able to be planned for.  I am actually setting aside a small amount this year for Christmas Presents.  I know that we have to get oil changes, so there's money being set aside for that.

• I also have an Undesignated category to catch the unexpected expenses.  This, along with spending money for both of us, really helps.

•  Okay, so the news you've been waiting for:  We have paid off an incredible amount of debt this year!  Lots of different reasons, but we were blessed with extra, and everything beyond our living expenses is going into our debt snowball.  If everything goes as planned, we will be out of debt by the end of December 2013.

• Oh, and another key to keeping on track:  Remembering that this money is not ours, that we are just stewards of it, and that God trusts us with it.  It actually helps us to realize that we need to stick to a plan and keep our palms open.  We tithe regularly and also sow into the kingdom with offerings above the 10%.  We are strongly convicted that we need to continue giving while working on getting rid of the debt.

•  Lastly, we've slacked some on sticking completely to our budget.  It's easy to float things, while keeping track of what we spent into the next budget, but that is a bad habit to have.  Eventually that will catch up to us.  To solve this we have decided to use some of the extra money to pad our categories so that we don't spend over.  

So that's some of the details of our last year of budgeting.  Hope you gained some insight and that what we've gone through can help you.

What have you accomplished this year?  How do you budget?  How do you live, yet pay off debt?  We'd love to hear from you in the comments!

Review of The Millionaire Next Door

The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is a fascinating book! The authors spent a lot of time researching millionaires and studying their lifestyles and habits. The bottom line I gleaned from it is to be frugal, don't live beyond your means. Instead of trying to live a perceived lifestyle of the "rich" invest, be content, and accumulate wealth. A lot of time was spent on emphasizing the benefits of not buying flashy, expensive cars or other expensive "toys".

Millionaires are those that take the time to plan out their financial goals, make good budgets, and invest wisely.

There wasn't a lot of time spent on the habit of giving in this book, which was disappointing. I know that one of my goals of becoming wealthy is to be able to give away and help others with my cash.

Definitely a good book to read and glean insights from.

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Big News!!

If I had to count on my fingers, a post with the title of Big News would be any of the following: a move, a new job, building a house, buying a yacht, or a new baby.  I should make you all try to figure out what the big news is, but since a lot of people already know, it wouldn't be much fun.

So.  Prepare yourself. 

Brianna and I are having a BABY!  Yup, you read that correctly.  In mid-April we will be the proud parents of a bouncing baby!  We won't know the sex for awhile, but we do intend on finding out.

Brianna has started nesting.  She has already been scouring Kijiji for deals on used baby items.  Right after we found out, she discovered a full nursery set for a little under half price!  We made the trip to Red Deer and fit it all into our Caliber!  I was quite pleased and surprised that it all fit.  Advantages to having a hatchback.  Once we know if it's a boy or a girl, she'll be able to put her plans into action!

We told our parents right away.  It just happened that her parents were celebrating their anniversary the same day we found out.  We told them that night out at the lake and they were surprised and quite happy!  Then we told my parents over video chat.  I really wish we had recorded that, because their faces were priceless!  Then we worked our way out and have told the Facebook world.

It's quite exciting!  I've always wanted to be a Dad and I have a special place in my heart for kids, so now that I'm going to have one of my own, it makes me burst with joy!  Brianna is especially excited! This is something she has dreamed and asked for, for a long time.  She can't wait to meet our little Peanut!

We will be happy if it's a boy or a girl or even a Klingon, but our friends are almost all thinking it's a girl.  What do you think?  My desire is split, but I wouldn't mind having a little girl to take on daddy dates.

How to love your wife

We all know the story:  Husband comes in after work, turns on the tv and starts to veg.  Wife comes in and starts to talk.  Husband grunts, wife wants to know what is going on in his life, husband grunts and turns up the tv.  Wife gets mad and starts yelling and eventually leaves.  (I think I just described every sitcom out there).

Men, this is not a good thing.  If your wife does not feel loved, listened to, and a part of you, she will be lonely and feel like you don't care.  This leads to dysfunction and an unhappy marriage.  Take the initiative and be involved in your wife's life. 

Here are a few practical ways to love your wife:

• Spend time with her.  Set aside the computer, the football game, the puttering in the yard, the video games and take the time to engage with her.  One of the things my wife appreciates is when I show her love by being available for her when she gets home.  I try to do chores or something not computer related when I know she's coming home soon.  
  
• Do little things for her.  Putting away dishes, doing a load of laundry, or any various chores speaks a lot to your wife.  Even the act of opening a door will show her that you love her and care for her.
  
• Be romantic.  Don't turn off that part of you just because you're married.  Bringing home a bouquet of flowers for no particular reason makes your wife feel special.  Say "I love you" and "you're beautiful" and mean it.  Again, make your wife feel special.  Don't do it in a selfish manner, but put her before yourself.
  
  
• Remember, she's made of spaghetti, following topics one right after another.  I know that can be difficult and by remembering that, you can switch boxes better.  Let her know that she's moving too fast or that you need to switch boxes before she starts talking.
  
• I know that as men we have been taught to be closed in our emotions and not let anyone in.  Guys, that's one of the surest ways to drive your wife away!  Learn how to let your walls down and let your wife see your feelings and your deepest desires.  She will respond in a myriad of ways to that intimacy and your marriage will be stronger for that.
  
• Be the leader and the protector of your marriage. 
  
• Be willing to admit your faults and be willing to work on your marriage.  Everyone can learn to love more, and you're no exception. 
  
• Take time to grow in God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to guide your life and pull you closer to Him.  Be disciplined in your reading of the Word, even if you don't like reading.  It is the best way to learn how to live your life in love and respect.
  
• Pray together.  Make a habit of going to bed and praying over each other before you go to sleep.
  
• Read marriage books and learn more ways to love your wife.  Ask the elders you know who have good, strong, and Godly marriages about what they have done.  

I know there are a lot more ways and methods to build a strong marriage.  Be open and loving to your wife and you will see yourself change and then you'll see change in her. 

Have you tried any of these ideas?  How did they work?  What other things do you do to love your wife?

JC Starts a Bucket List

A number of people have been talking about bucket lists (or I should say I've seen a few people talking about it over the last few years and I watched part of that movie with Morgan Freeman).

The concept intrigues me.  Do I go for the lifetime goals or do I make short term goals?  Do they have to be serious or silly or odd or what?

Being the geek that I am, I googled it.  Seems that a bucket list should be things that are somewhat challenging and mean something.  They can be serious, or silly; short or long.  Some people categorize them, others just write them as they come.

That said, I've decided to start a bucket list!

JC's First 10 Bucket List Items!

1. See Niagara Falls
2. Sky Dive at least once
3. Read the Bible through in one sitting
4. Climb the Washington Monument
5. Shoot a Moose (and eat it)
6. Eat snake
7. Visit Scotland again.
8. Celebrate my 10th Anniversary in Hawaii
9. Become a father
10. Catch a fish from a boat
11. Become debt free

I'm sure I will add to these over time and I welcome your encouragement as my life progresses.

What would you put on your bucket list?  Do you have one?  Have you started checking off items?