Persevering through the Desert

I've been trying to be productive the last couple of days, trying to use my computer as a tool and not as a time waster or brain sucker.  Thus I've been reading articles and working on my Inbox.  I took Gmail's claim that you never had to delete a message again.  Yeah, that might not have been a good idea.  4000+ emails takes a long time to work through. 

However, it felt like I was in a time machine, digging back into my past. I saw emails that made me think about that stage on my journey.  I thought about how sometimes I would get stuck, sometimes in circumstances, sometimes emotionally, and sometimes spiritually.  There was a period of time where I wasn't moving forward and was just spinning my tires.  I needed something to change.

Through a lot of prayer and thought, I came to the decision that God wanted me to put my faith out and take a risk.  I quit my job in Eugene, OR, and took a three and a half week road trip halfway across the US.  I used this trip to listen and try to follow what God wanted for me.  It started on the coast, figuring out that He wanted me to drive south and it continued across California, to Arizona, through Kansas and finally wrapped up in Missouri. 

I had many adventures on that trip, but there was one day that I want to share.

I was on my way from the Grand Canyon, headed up towards Colorado.  Right around Red Mesa, I was zipping along and saw a painted sign "Revival --->".  I smiled, thought that was cool and continued.  About a mile or so down the road, I realized " Oh, God, you want me to follow that sign!"  I turned around and headed back. 

Now this is in the middle of Arizona desert.  Red dirt and mesas all around.  The road was not paved and wasn't the nicest road in the world.   My assumption was that this would be in a hall or something like that, about a mile down the road.  Yeah, not so lucky.  About 3 miles I came upon a calf roping arena and yes, there were people roping calves.  I stopped and asked where this revival thing was. I got vague directions that really didn't help.

Back in the car I go and I start thinking.  My gas gauge was getting low and I was yet to see anymore signs.  I was starting to wonder about turning around and going back to the highway.  Then, I realized that this was a God moment.  Through out my life I've been willing to obey God, but my tendencies have been to only go so far and then either camp out there or turn back.  I liked my comfort zones and to push past them hurt.  Even in obedience to God, breaking those comfort walls, hurt.  But I realized this was a time to break that habit in my life.  This was the time to PERSEVERE and move forward.  God said and I needed to obey.

It wasn't 5 minutes and I see a sign.  Then, I see another sign and arrive at my destination.  The revival was on this personal property and turned out to be in Navajo!!  However, I was blessed and I got to bless others there.  They gave me a place to sleep and I left early the next morning.

I look back on this event in my life and I try to remember that when God gives us something to do, then we need to do it!  We need to push past the uncomfortableness.  We need to climb that mountain (My friend, Geno, just wrote a post about persevering in his hiking journey which inspired this post).

When I come to the areas in my life that are tough, I can get caught up in my wants at the time, but I have to persevere through   God does come through and I have seen His Hand time and time again in my journey.

What do you have to persevere through? 

When Distractions Get Louder Than God

If you're like me, you've heard a lot about "being still" and listening to God.  And if you're like me, you puzzle over how to do that.  I often sit in service, during a quiet time, or during worship, trying to center my thoughts on God.  Does that happen?  Not as often as I like.  I'll think about the need to talk to someone after church, or what we're having for dinner, or a project that I need to work on.  I catch myself over and over again with wandering thoughts.

Is it possible to think on God and seek Him first?

Yes.  It takes discipline and training to do that. 

³ For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. ⁴ For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. ⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, ⁶ being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.
2nd Corinthians 10:3-6 ESV

Our minds are under constant attack from several sides.   Our culture is full of distractions that take our eyes off of God and onto material and perishable things.  Think about it, how much time do we spend on the computer?  How much time is spent checking statuses, watching youtube videos about the Star Wars Kid, playing games, or even just watching TV?  I've heard that the average American spends 35 hours a week watching TV.  Can I just say "Wow!"

Beyond the obvious "we need to spend more time with God" I want to emphasize the discipline of training your mind.   Our minds naturally go to the easiest things to think about.  A habit is formed and our brain likes going that direction because it's easy.  It's easy to think about that game level you're working on, or the problem at work, or your daughter's latest drama.  It's not so easy to put our minds on God, on His Glory, on His Majesty, on the Awesome God we love and serve.  It's a battle and we need to spend more time in that battle.  Don't be mediocre.

How do we change our habits?  How do we discipline ourselves to put the priority where it needs to be?

We make choices.  We choose the good things and discard the mediocre and lukewarm habits.  Yeah, it's not something that is easy.  Changing habits is hard, but the end result is a stronger and more vibrant walk with God. 

I'm not saying all entertainment is bad, but when anything, whether movies, spouses, money, or books become bigger than God, then we have to seriously examine our lives.  Entertainment can be a good thing to have, but in moderation.

Our Action Steps

Brianna and I have recently been convicted that we spend too much time focused on trivial things.  We decided that to start our minds on better tracks, that we needed to trim some of the time wasters we fill our lives with. I recently wrote about What Place Does Our Computer Hold and that started us thinking about where our priorities should be.  Thus for the month of February we're avoiding watching movies or TV shows, taking a break from Facebook and spending more time with God and with each other. 

It's only been three days, but we're already feeling more connected with God and our minds seem to be working better. 

Yes, we're still using the computer, but it's limited to being a tool. 

The voices are loud and they can drown out God's voice.  Remove the voices and you can hear Him more.

Meet us in the comments and tell us how you deal with the distractions in this world.  How often do you check in with God?

Be aware of what your wife does

I have a friend who shared this article on Twitter.  Basically the author talks about not undoing what your wife has done throughout the day.

He uses the example of leaving clothes on the table after his wife has cleaned it over and over during the day.  Made me think about my marriage and what I do that could undo what Brianna has done.  The stuff on the table is definitely one thing.  Books and papers on the sofas is another.  Leaving my lunch stuff on the counter after making lunch.  Yeah, I do it.

I think the gist of the article is to remember to be proactive with your relationship with your wife.  It takes thought to make your wife feel special.  And she definitely deserves to be have her husband make her special!

Husbands:  What stuff do you do that can undo your wife's actions during the day?  Wives:  What can you gently talk to your husband about in this regard?

How To Make Your Wife Happy

Okay, so men usually agree that women are mysteries, and are very difficult to figure out.  There are so many differences that it doesn't seem like we really can connect and make our wives happy.  If you're like me, you hate to see your wife upset.  Plus, the old addage, Happy Wife, Happy Life, holds true, right?

First off, know that you aren't responsible for your wife's happiness, and the reverse holds true as well.  If you're struggling with feeling grumpy and depressed, look at yourself first and figure out why that's happening and why that is affecting you and your family.  One thing I've learned, it's not my wife's responsibility to keep me spiritually or even emotionally fed.  I have to know myself and my identity in Christ before I can be the husband I need to be.

We, as husbands, also need to realize that our wives are made so different than us.  Even if their primary love language isn't words of affirmation (yes, I did read The Five Love Languages), they still need your attention and the time you talk and listen to them.  Their minds and their hearts are relational based and if you take the time to listen and be part of their struggles and triumphs, you will find their love grows.

Some of the things I've found with Brianna that tend to bring us closer together:

• Our late night conversations.  We can spend hours snuggled in bed talking about everything under the sun.  From our dreams of the future, to current struggles, to even theological discussions, we cover a lot of topics.  I take the time to listen to her viewpoint, repeat it back to her if I don't get it, and to accept her view on things.
• Time.  Setting aside the time to spend with Brianna has been very important.  Take this weekend for instance.  We have church Saturday night and Sunday morning, and every other Sunday evening a college/career type group, so our weekends are very busy.  This Sunday afternoon and evening, we had nothing happening.  All of a sudden my sister-in-law calls and wants to play Settlers of Catan with us.  Normally we would jump on that; we love that game!  However, with how busy the weekend was, we needed the time to just be with each other.  Thus, we said no.  Now, we still want to play that game and will make the time to do so, we just needed that specific time together with each other.
• The little things.  My mother will attest that I don't like doing dishes.  Definitely not my favorite job in the world.  Yet, there are times that I do them.  Not because I love dishes, but because I love my wife and want to serve her.  Same with any chore around the house.  You may not do them regularly, but to be deliberate about serving your wife makes her feel like a queen!  Also, my wife loves head massages and I know I'm making her happy with that.  
• And I almost forgot:  Prayer.  We pray together every night and it connects us with each other and with God.  Something about being thankful, putting our faith together, and lifting our lives up to God is a huge encourager to our marriage.

I think my biggest piece of advice is to remember Ephesians 5:25-33.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^{[a] 28}In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰because we are members of his body. ³¹ "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." ³²This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 I think this passage bears a lot of thinking about and learning to apply it to your life.  It's huge to think that you take care of yourself, so you need to take care of your wife in the same way.  And also, we are little Christs, made in His image, and we can act like it.   

Your wife deserves a loving and caring husband.  She is a priceless jewel that needs your love and protection.  You are able to love her well!!

Wives: what do your husbands do that make you happy and loved?  Husbands:  what can you do to speak and care for your wife? 

Moving Pictures vs. The Written Word

I used to be quite the reader.  I read voraciously through out my teen years.  Novels mostly, Sci-fi and fantasy were quite high up on the list.  I also liked mysteries, westerns, and the Christian novel.  Basically if it told a story, I liked it.

Then I went to college.  There, reading consisted of textbooks, textbooks, research, and, yes, more textbooks.   Since I had to read every word in order to comprehend it, I would spend hours in the library, at Sharis, in the park and anywhere I could find a comfortable chair, reading my books.  Usually I'd be ahead in my reading (learned a lot about scheduling and time management back then), but still, my brain would feel stretched and fried by the end of the evening.

My recreation of choice changed from reading a novel to watching movies.  Springfield has a lovely $1.50 theater where it was quite easy to see movies for cheap.  Most Friday nights would find me and my friends watching the latest action film or comedy or whatever piqued our interest at that time.  It was common to hit the theater and meet people you hadn't seen for awhile there.  Almost a social networking site without being on the internet and 100s of miles apart.

All that to say is that I've slowly gotten back into reading novels.  However, I'm finding it more difficult to be sucked in.  I just picked up a book that my wife had, and started reading, yet, even through the first chapter and I wanted to set it down and go do something else.  That either means that Francine Rivers isn't as engaging an author as I remember or that I lost my focus...  hmmmm...

The other thing I've noticed in my reading habits is that I go through cycles.  I've been trying to read a lot of non-fiction, uplifting and educational books lately.  Some grab me, make me interested in seeing how the author expounds on his point, others leave me bored and wanting more.  Again, is this the author's fault or is it my lack of focus?

Or is it that explosions have become much more interesting than the written word?

I hope not.  The worlds that books open up are myriad and filled with a variety of creatures and thoughts.  I want to explore them for the rest of my life.