How to love your wife

We all know the story:  Husband comes in after work, turns on the tv and starts to veg.  Wife comes in and starts to talk.  Husband grunts, wife wants to know what is going on in his life, husband grunts and turns up the tv.  Wife gets mad and starts yelling and eventually leaves.  (I think I just described every sitcom out there).

Men, this is not a good thing.  If your wife does not feel loved, listened to, and a part of you, she will be lonely and feel like you don't care.  This leads to dysfunction and an unhappy marriage.  Take the initiative and be involved in your wife's life. 

Here are a few practical ways to love your wife:

• Spend time with her.  Set aside the computer, the football game, the puttering in the yard, the video games and take the time to engage with her.  One of the things my wife appreciates is when I show her love by being available for her when she gets home.  I try to do chores or something not computer related when I know she's coming home soon.  
  
• Do little things for her.  Putting away dishes, doing a load of laundry, or any various chores speaks a lot to your wife.  Even the act of opening a door will show her that you love her and care for her.
  
• Be romantic.  Don't turn off that part of you just because you're married.  Bringing home a bouquet of flowers for no particular reason makes your wife feel special.  Say "I love you" and "you're beautiful" and mean it.  Again, make your wife feel special.  Don't do it in a selfish manner, but put her before yourself.
  
  
• Remember, she's made of spaghetti, following topics one right after another.  I know that can be difficult and by remembering that, you can switch boxes better.  Let her know that she's moving too fast or that you need to switch boxes before she starts talking.
  
• I know that as men we have been taught to be closed in our emotions and not let anyone in.  Guys, that's one of the surest ways to drive your wife away!  Learn how to let your walls down and let your wife see your feelings and your deepest desires.  She will respond in a myriad of ways to that intimacy and your marriage will be stronger for that.
  
• Be the leader and the protector of your marriage. 
  
• Be willing to admit your faults and be willing to work on your marriage.  Everyone can learn to love more, and you're no exception. 
  
• Take time to grow in God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to guide your life and pull you closer to Him.  Be disciplined in your reading of the Word, even if you don't like reading.  It is the best way to learn how to live your life in love and respect.
  
• Pray together.  Make a habit of going to bed and praying over each other before you go to sleep.
  
• Read marriage books and learn more ways to love your wife.  Ask the elders you know who have good, strong, and Godly marriages about what they have done.  

I know there are a lot more ways and methods to build a strong marriage.  Be open and loving to your wife and you will see yourself change and then you'll see change in her. 

Have you tried any of these ideas?  How did they work?  What other things do you do to love your wife?

JC Starts a Bucket List

A number of people have been talking about bucket lists (or I should say I've seen a few people talking about it over the last few years and I watched part of that movie with Morgan Freeman).

The concept intrigues me.  Do I go for the lifetime goals or do I make short term goals?  Do they have to be serious or silly or odd or what?

Being the geek that I am, I googled it.  Seems that a bucket list should be things that are somewhat challenging and mean something.  They can be serious, or silly; short or long.  Some people categorize them, others just write them as they come.

That said, I've decided to start a bucket list!

JC's First 10 Bucket List Items!

1. See Niagara Falls
2. Sky Dive at least once
3. Read the Bible through in one sitting
4. Climb the Washington Monument
5. Shoot a Moose (and eat it)
6. Eat snake
7. Visit Scotland again.
8. Celebrate my 10th Anniversary in Hawaii
9. Become a father
10. Catch a fish from a boat
11. Become debt free

I'm sure I will add to these over time and I welcome your encouragement as my life progresses.

What would you put on your bucket list?  Do you have one?  Have you started checking off items?

Content and thankful

I'm sitting in my living room, feeling very content.  There's sun shining through the window, the temperature is actually warm, and my wife is reading a book in the chaise.  Life is good right now.

Our weather is slowly getting better.  We had snow a little bit last week, but this week is supposed to be warm enough for rain.  That will be a nice change.  We're starting to get stuff together for a garden.  Started zucchini, lettuce, chives, basil, oregano, thyme, morning glory, and sweet peas.  We'll be planting carrots a bit later outside.  Going to be nice to have some veggies growing.

I spent the morning at church.  We have a daily corporate prayer time and it has greatly helped my growth with God and is a great part of the day.  After that Pastor and I went for coffee and had some good conversation.  I love our church and the relationships that I'm building.

After lunch I went over to my father-in-laws and did some sawing.  I'm in the middle of a project that I'll reveal later.  It was a lot of fun to be able to use the table saw and work with wood.

Life is pretty good right now. 

Thank You, Lord for this day, for the favor you give us, and the blessings showered upon us.  Thank You for our house and the ability to make it our home.  Thank You.  Amen.

How about you?  What's God doing in your life that You're thankful for?  Meet us in the comments!

When Chaos Comes Knocking

First off I must apologize for not writing more on this blog.  Life got in the way there for awhile.  We are back and will be posting more often.

Second, to discuss what happened I need a time machine...  What?  No time machines handy?  I guess you'll have to put up with me telling the story of a spewing toilet and the turmoil it caused.

Third - Just so that I have a nice three point introduction, here is the story:

The Story

It starts innocently enough.  An article I had written had just been published on The Christian Dollar When Plans Don't Work Out.  I had talked about when chaos strikes and your plans are changed or thrown out the window, turn to God and remember His Plan for you never gets thwarted. 

It's interesting how things happen to test what God has been talking to us about.

That day I walked to church for prayer and walked back, nice weather, and a good time.  I open my door and descend into our basement.  What do I discover but a pool of water about a 1/4 in deep at my entryway.  Oh boy....  Turns out that the toilet line out to the main sewer had been blocked and every time my neighbor's laundry drained, I got a flood.

After calling the landlady and getting the neighbor to stop washing clothes, I attempted to clean up.  Yeah, not having a wet vac really slowed the process down.  Then the clean up guys came and told me that the bacteria in the sewer water was dangerous and that they needed to remove the floors and sanitize.  Oh.  So you mean I need to move all my stuff out and allow you access.

Thus started a marathon packing!  We slept at my in-laws (Shout out to Richard and Julie!  You guys are a blessing!), packed up our stuff, and then moved it all into a friend's garage (Shout out to Dennis and Laura!  Thank you so very much!) with the help of some guys from church (Thanks to Darryl, Kyle, Glenn, Troy, and Devon!  You guys rock!).  From that Tuesday to the afternoon of that Sunday, we packed, moved, and cleaned.  My wife and her mother did a great job cleaning everything except the floors!

Let's take a moment and talk about how I had to deal with my ways of thinking.  I'll be honest, we both had moments where we wanted to worry and be annoyed that we were having to move.  It was tempting to think we'd be stuck staying with Brianna's parents for a long period of time, that our stuff would like hanging out in a garage, that we wouldn't find a new place, and if we did, we wouldn't be able to afford it.

However, both of us knew that God does care about us and does have plans for us.  We had to rest in God's hands, let Him be the center of our lives, and have faith that a new place would be found.  After all, we had been thinking about moving before all this happened and had started asking God for a new place for the same amount of money.  We knew that it'd take a miracle to get a place like what we wanted.  And our expectations were met...

In our searching, we had a couple leads that fell through. Then we heard about this Coop housing and that there was a two bedroom available.

Get this, that Tuesday night, a week from when I discovered the flood, we visited with the couple who makes the membership agreements.  We looked at the place and it matched everything we were asking for.  Even the ability to paint and to have a garden.  We signed the papers and got the keys.  By Saturday we were all moved in.

We've been painting and getting settled this last week.  It's almost to the point where we can feel at home.

Best thing:  Same amount of money for almost twice the space. 

Chaos came knocking.  We had to remember that God brings order.  We rested in Him.  Now we are blessed with a great place and a reminder to be focused on Him!

Meet us in the comments and tell us about what God's been doing in your lives. 

Video Blog

Made this the other day on my way to the church.  Not a lot of content, but it's a good first video blog.

February is a Month Of Celebrating!

I always knew February was a special month, but until I got married, I really didn't appreciate it as much as I do now.  I mean, we all know that it's the only month to start with an "F" and it's a funny sounding word to say.  It's full of holidays:  Groundhog's Day (which is only notable because Bill Murray got stuck in it), President's Day (Yes, for those who didn't know, Washington and Lincoln were both born in February, but they get to share a holiday), and it's the only month that has a Leap Day in it!  All in all, February is a special month.

What's that?  I forgot the most important holiday?  Oh, that's right, I was born on the 1st.  No?  Not that one?  hmmmmmm....  Oh, right Valentine's Day, the day that singles like to hate and couples like to enjoy.  For me, as the previous post talks about, I like it because I got the best answer to the best question on that day in 2011.  I think I'll let Brianna talk about how we celebrated it this year, though.

I forgot something else?  No, actually I didn't forget it.  The 18th of February is another one of my favorite days because it was the day my wife came into the world.  It took awhile for us to find each other, but she has improved my life and I'm sure she's improved the world. 

Oh, I must go!  We have a birthday dinner to prepare!

Why is February special for you?

Persevering through the Desert

I've been trying to be productive the last couple of days, trying to use my computer as a tool and not as a time waster or brain sucker.  Thus I've been reading articles and working on my Inbox.  I took Gmail's claim that you never had to delete a message again.  Yeah, that might not have been a good idea.  4000+ emails takes a long time to work through. 

However, it felt like I was in a time machine, digging back into my past. I saw emails that made me think about that stage on my journey.  I thought about how sometimes I would get stuck, sometimes in circumstances, sometimes emotionally, and sometimes spiritually.  There was a period of time where I wasn't moving forward and was just spinning my tires.  I needed something to change.

Through a lot of prayer and thought, I came to the decision that God wanted me to put my faith out and take a risk.  I quit my job in Eugene, OR, and took a three and a half week road trip halfway across the US.  I used this trip to listen and try to follow what God wanted for me.  It started on the coast, figuring out that He wanted me to drive south and it continued across California, to Arizona, through Kansas and finally wrapped up in Missouri. 

I had many adventures on that trip, but there was one day that I want to share.

I was on my way from the Grand Canyon, headed up towards Colorado.  Right around Red Mesa, I was zipping along and saw a painted sign "Revival --->".  I smiled, thought that was cool and continued.  About a mile or so down the road, I realized " Oh, God, you want me to follow that sign!"  I turned around and headed back. 

Now this is in the middle of Arizona desert.  Red dirt and mesas all around.  The road was not paved and wasn't the nicest road in the world.   My assumption was that this would be in a hall or something like that, about a mile down the road.  Yeah, not so lucky.  About 3 miles I came upon a calf roping arena and yes, there were people roping calves.  I stopped and asked where this revival thing was. I got vague directions that really didn't help.

Back in the car I go and I start thinking.  My gas gauge was getting low and I was yet to see anymore signs.  I was starting to wonder about turning around and going back to the highway.  Then, I realized that this was a God moment.  Through out my life I've been willing to obey God, but my tendencies have been to only go so far and then either camp out there or turn back.  I liked my comfort zones and to push past them hurt.  Even in obedience to God, breaking those comfort walls, hurt.  But I realized this was a time to break that habit in my life.  This was the time to PERSEVERE and move forward.  God said and I needed to obey.

It wasn't 5 minutes and I see a sign.  Then, I see another sign and arrive at my destination.  The revival was on this personal property and turned out to be in Navajo!!  However, I was blessed and I got to bless others there.  They gave me a place to sleep and I left early the next morning.

I look back on this event in my life and I try to remember that when God gives us something to do, then we need to do it!  We need to push past the uncomfortableness.  We need to climb that mountain (My friend, Geno, just wrote a post about persevering in his hiking journey which inspired this post).

When I come to the areas in my life that are tough, I can get caught up in my wants at the time, but I have to persevere through   God does come through and I have seen His Hand time and time again in my journey.

What do you have to persevere through?