A few things that I’ve learned in marriage so far: (hmm, for being married only 2 months, it’s kinda long... obviously this is a very steep learning curve) : )
- Respect! I have definitely learned the immense value in respecting JC. I love Ephesians 5:33 in the Amplified Bible: However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [ that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. All of those acts have such an impact on my hubby. When I tell him “You’re so awesome!” or “I’m married to the world’s most handsome man”, or “You make me smile honey! You’re the best!”, or “I’m so proud of you, you did such an awesome job!” his face lights up and I can tell how much it means to him. It doesn’t stop there either... I need to show respect in how I act too. I need to listen to him when he shares his thoughts and ideas and see the value and wisdom in them. I need to see him as the best guy in the world! I do these things because I love my hubby very much, and this is one way that I can express that love to him. Guys respond to respect from their wives... there’s a reason God made sure it was written in the Bible!
- Sense of Humor. I have always thought that being able to have a good sense of humor is a blessing in any situation, good or bad, but I have definitely learned the immense value of it in marriage. We’ve only been married for 2 months and I’ve already seen how important it is! I can only imagine the benefits we’ll gain in the future!!! JC and I both share a silly sense of humor and it seems like we’re constantly laughing with each other. Not only does it eliminate (or at least decrease) stress in a situation, it definitely makes both of us feel good. And it makes us feel closer together to enjoy a good laugh together.
- How to “Fight” Nice. So, it has been 2 months, and we still have not had a fight... and not for lack of opportunity! I can attribute this to the two of us reading “Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage” by Greg and Erin Smalley... and actually taking their advice to heart. There are lots of things that come up, almost every day, that could become a big issue or even a fight, but we’ve both really strived to stop and check our own hearts and attitudes before moving forward. We’re trying to learn to “respond” to each other and not “react”. Pausing and taking a breath before speaking, doing our best to hear the other one out, trying to find solutions that make us both happy, and being willing to apologize when the other one feels like their “buttons” got pushed, etc. When we do this, I feel like he respects my feelings, cares about my heart, and really does want to find answers that make both of us happy. I’m sure someday we will mess up and our great intentions will be forgotten momentarily, but we’ll do our best to forgive, move on, and do better the next time.
- How to Properly Organize: I write this with a certain amount of tongue-in-cheek, seeing as I can be just as picky about how some things are done and organized, but I have never been quite as precise as he can be. In my world, things like books and DVDs get organized based on what looks pretty... i.e: all the colourful covers together, all the dark colored ones together, short books here, and tall books over there, etc. : ) In JC’s world, these things must be alphabetized. Now, while I do think that alphabetization (is that really a word?) is fine, it has no room for making things look “pretty”. The tall, short, thick, thin, colored, and color-less books are just all mingled together. Yes, I do realize that it makes more sense to do this because it makes it easy to find a book... but what about “pretty”???? :D (Every time JC asks me why I do something a certain way and I use the word “pretty” in my explanation, he just shakes his head.) : ) I have also discovered how JC organizes his clothes. They must be hung up according to type of shirt as well as color/pattern. In his world, you simply cannot put a blue dress shirt next to a grey turtleneck!!! In my world, things get hung up wherever there happens to be room. There is no rhyme or reason at all.
- Most of all I've learned how much this man means to me. It has only been 2 months, but I already feel like he is absolutely a part of me and there is no way I could ever go back to being without him. He is my greatest blessing and I am so thankful for him! God is good to me!
On the lighter side:... After being married for a little bit now, I have a pretty decent idea of who/what JC is... and now I have this movie playing in my head about what happened when God made him. (Yes, I realize that this is absolutely not biblical... but it is funny, at least to me, and I think it explains a bit of why he is the way he is.) Basically, I picture God standing at a table, with a big bowl in front of him and a bunch of huge super-sized containers that look like spice jars spread out over the whole table. He takes one jar labelled “tall” and pours some in, another labelled “handsome” and pours a generous amount in... on and on it goes... half a cup of “godly character” and several heaping couple tablespoons of “very smart”... a couple tablespoons of ”sci-fi nerd”, a ¼ cup of “hates to wash dishes” and a good dash of “great husband”... (hmm, make that several quarts there on that last one... dash doesn’t even begin to cover it) And then God picks up the jar of “Pest” and goes to shake just a little bit into the bowl, but all of a sudden, disaster strikes! The little shaker top part comes off completely and the whole jar pours in.... a good gallon of the stuff. God pauses and looks at the bowl, and a mischievous smile comes to his face. He pulls out the shaker top from under the pile of “Pest” in the bowl, puts it back on, and continues to mix it all together, not bothering to take any out...
I think that pretty much describes my hubby. I mean, he’s got lots of personality quirks and attributes, but the one I’m learning the most about is the “pest” side... the weird sense of humor and silliness, the constant need to tickle me or poke me, the strange little idiosyncrasies that cause me to sometimes just smile and shake my head. I have discovered that JC is the biggest pest when it is around 10 pm and I’m trying to sleep. I’ll turn over and get all comfy and almost drift off and then “OOGA BOOGA!” Why he likes these words, I don’t know... but he seems to enjoy using them as some sort of precursor to starting to tickle me and/or make silly noises or jokes... A part of my brain immediately feels irritated – I was almost asleep for goodness’ sake! But then the silly part takes over (within about 0.5 seconds) and before long I have the giggles and am no longer able to sleep even if I wanted to. I love it!
And if any of you reading this happen to be thinking right now “Pest? Really? I don’t see that in him...” then you obviously haven’t spent nearly enough time with this man. :D
But I love it! The pesky-ness is great! It makes for TONS of laughs and smiles.... the only downside is learning to live with sore smile muscles and aching sides from an overdose of laughter.
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