Midnight Financial Musings

I can't sleep.  And what does JC do when he can't sleep?  He heads over to The Christian Dollar to read through the archives.  Lo and behold he stumbles upon this article about spending the previous month's income for the next month. This starts him thinking about budgeting and how it's working.

A little over a month and a half ago, I posted about our first budget, and how we were taking each dollar and giving it a name and purpose.  We started out budgeting from what we had from August's income.  Then, the next month, we budgeted from September's income.  Now, looking at the budget for November, we are going to be using October's income.  Make's sense, right?

I think one of the reasons that this system is working for us, is that I like to see things in concrete terms.  I like knowing that I have so many apples, so many bananas, and so many dollars.  That allows me to parcel out my budget, knowing that I have exactly this amount of money for this amount of expenses.  What's funny about this is that not too long ago I was very undisciplined with my money.  I had a vague idea of where it was going and what it needed to do, but I would impulse buy and that occasionally had me skating along a cliff.

Now that Brianna and I are married, the accountability and the goals we have set makes it a lot easier to keep to a budget.  Plus I also have a renewed sense of stewardship.  The money we have is not our own and I want to treat this gift with the diligence it deserves.

And part of that is spending last month's income in this month's budget.

How do you set up your budget?  How do you look at your money?  Is it concrete or vague?

Inspiration

A friend of mine shared this news story on Facebook.

From the article: "A devoted Iowa couple married for 72 years died holding hands in the hospital last week, exactly one hour apart.
The passing reflected the nature of their marriage, where, "As a rule, everything was done together," said the couple's daughter Donna Sheets, 71."

Married 72 years and they die together

I have been thinking a lot about longevity in my marriage lately.  That's why we talked about our foundation and what we're trying to do in order to build a strong and lasting marriage.  Then I read about this couple and how they lasted and how they did everything together.  It inspires me. 

So what causes a marriage to last?  From reading this article, a lot of it is being together and truly going through life as one, as a unit.  It means making decisions together, talking about everything, and being honest. 

I want to look back at 90 years of age and see my life with Brianna stretch out behind me.  I want to look and see my bride beside me and know that I absolutely love her and spent a good life together with her.

What about you?  Do you know anyone who has had a long and happy marriage?  What have you learned from them?  Care to tell us about it?

It's a steep learning curve....

A few things that I’ve learned in marriage so far: (hmm, for being married only 2 months, it’s kinda long... obviously this is a very steep learning curve) : )

- Respect! I have definitely learned the immense value in respecting JC. I love Ephesians 5:33 in the Amplified Bible: However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [ that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. All of those acts have such an impact on my hubby. When I tell him “You’re so awesome!” or “I’m married to the world’s most handsome man”, or “You make me smile honey! You’re the best!”, or “I’m so proud of you, you did such an awesome job!” his face lights up and I can tell how much it means to him. It doesn’t stop there either... I need to show respect in how I act too. I need to listen to him when he shares his thoughts and ideas and see the value and wisdom in them. I need to see him as the best guy in the world! I do these things because I love my hubby very much, and this is one way that I can express that love to him. Guys respond to respect from their wives... there’s a reason God made sure it was written in the Bible!

- Sense of Humor. I have always thought that being able to have a good sense of humor is a blessing in any situation, good or bad, but I have definitely learned the immense value of it in marriage. We’ve only been married for 2 months and I’ve already seen how important it is! I can only imagine the benefits we’ll gain in the future!!! JC and I both share a silly sense of humor and it seems like we’re constantly laughing with each other. Not only does it eliminate (or at least decrease) stress in a situation, it definitely makes both of us feel good. And it makes us feel closer together to enjoy a good laugh together.

- How to “Fight” Nice. So, it has been 2 months, and we still have not had a fight... and not for lack of opportunity! I can attribute this to the two of us reading “Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage” by Greg and Erin Smalley... and actually taking their advice to heart. There are lots of things that come up, almost every day, that could become a big issue or even a fight, but we’ve both really strived to stop and check our own hearts and attitudes before moving forward. We’re trying to learn to “respond” to each other and not “react”. Pausing and taking a breath before speaking, doing our best to hear the other one out, trying to find solutions that make us both happy, and being willing to apologize when the other one feels like their “buttons” got pushed, etc. When we do this, I feel like he respects my feelings, cares about my heart, and really does want to find answers that make both of us happy. I’m sure someday we will mess up and our great intentions will be forgotten momentarily, but we’ll do our best to forgive, move on, and do better the next time.

- How to Properly Organize: I write this with a certain amount of tongue-in-cheek, seeing as I can be just as picky about how some things are done and organized, but I have never been quite as precise as he can be. In my world, things like books and DVDs get organized based on what looks pretty... i.e: all the colourful covers together, all the dark colored ones together, short books here, and tall books over there, etc. : ) In JC’s world, these things must be alphabetized. Now, while I do think that alphabetization (is that really a word?) is fine, it has no room for making things look “pretty”. The tall, short, thick, thin, colored, and color-less books are just all mingled together. Yes, I do realize that it makes more sense to do this because it makes it easy to find a book... but what about “pretty”???? :D (Every time JC asks me why I do something a certain way and I use the word “pretty” in my explanation, he just shakes his head.) : ) I have also discovered how JC organizes his clothes. They must be hung up according to type of shirt as well as color/pattern. In his world, you simply cannot put a blue dress shirt next to a grey turtleneck!!! In my world, things get hung up wherever there happens to be room. There is no rhyme or reason at all.

- Most of all I've learned how much this man means to me. It has only been 2 months, but I already feel like he is absolutely a part of me and there is no way I could ever go back to being without him. He is my greatest blessing and I am so thankful for him! God is good to me!

On the lighter side:... After being married for a little bit now, I have a pretty decent idea of who/what JC is... and now I have this movie playing in my head about what happened when God made him. (Yes, I realize that this is absolutely not biblical... but it is funny, at least to me, and I think it explains a bit of why he is the way he is.) Basically, I picture God standing at a table, with a big bowl in front of him and a bunch of huge super-sized containers that look like spice jars spread out over the whole table. He takes one jar labelled “tall” and pours some in, another labelled “handsome” and pours a generous amount in... on and on it goes... half a cup of “godly character” and several heaping couple tablespoons of “very smart”... a couple tablespoons of ”sci-fi nerd”, a ¼ cup of “hates to wash dishes” and a good dash of “great husband”... (hmm, make that several quarts there on that last one... dash doesn’t even begin to cover it) And then God picks up the jar of “Pest” and goes to shake just a little bit into the bowl, but all of a sudden, disaster strikes! The little shaker top part comes off completely and the whole jar pours in.... a good gallon of the stuff. God pauses and looks at the bowl, and a mischievous smile comes to his face. He pulls out the shaker top from under the pile of “Pest” in the bowl, puts it back on, and continues to mix it all together, not bothering to take any out...

I think that pretty much describes my hubby. I mean, he’s got lots of personality quirks and attributes, but the one I’m learning the most about is the “pest” side... the weird sense of humor and silliness, the constant need to tickle me or poke me, the strange little idiosyncrasies that cause me to sometimes just smile and shake my head. I have discovered that JC is the biggest pest when it is around 10 pm and I’m trying to sleep. I’ll turn over and get all comfy and almost drift off and then “OOGA BOOGA!” Why he likes these words, I don’t know... but he seems to enjoy using them as some sort of precursor to starting to tickle me and/or make silly noises or jokes... A part of my brain immediately feels irritated – I was almost asleep for goodness’ sake! But then the silly part takes over (within about 0.5 seconds) and before long I have the giggles and am no longer able to sleep even if I wanted to. I love it!

And if any of you reading this happen to be thinking right now “Pest? Really? I don’t see that in him...” then you obviously haven’t spent nearly enough time with this man. :D

But I love it! The pesky-ness is great! It makes for TONS of laughs and smiles.... the only downside is learning to live with sore smile muscles and aching sides from an overdose of laughter.

Thanksgiving - in October?

One of the new things this American has to get used to in the land of the Canuck is Thanksgiving in October on a Monday! *insert confused look*

Brianna and I are hosting Thanksgiving, so we have the turkey roasting, the taters started, and the feast well in hand.  The smells are wafting through our basement apartment and are making me hungry!  The weather is slightly crisp and we went for a quick walk.  It has definitely set the mood and drawn me to thinking about what I'm thankful for.

1. I have to be thankful for my walk with God first and foremost!  I've been walking closer and closer with Him through the last few months and am amazed at who He is and the way He works in my life!  We have been seeing His provision and His promises come through in our lives!
2. The second is my wife! Never would have imagined the way she makes me feel!  She's such a blessing to me and makes me feel like a man!  *grins*  Her smiles, her voice, and the looks she gives me, make me realize what a treasure I have.  
3. Having a good extended family.  I am very thankful for my wife's family and the relationship I now have with them.  Looking so forward to many, many, many years of fun and laughter.
4. The church family we're in.  They have embraced me as Brianna's husband and I have become good friends and a part of this church!  I love you all!
5. And the simple things:  a roof over my head; running vehicles; food and water; cothes.  All these things we take for granted - I find myself being extremely grateful for.

How about you?  What are the things you are thankful for?

A few things I have learned in Marriage

Our two month anniversary is quickly approaching and so I thought I'd sit down and talk a bit about things I have learned about marriage in this short time.

• The first is the "yes, dear."  This is the best answer for pretty much any request.  "Put the toilet seat cover down!"  "Yes, dear."  "Vacuum the crumbs up!"  "Yes, dear."  Yeah, you get the picture.  *grins*
• In actuality, being willing to help Brianna out has kept our relationship open.  She feels secure when she knows that I can help her out around the house.  Take last night for instance:  We were getting ready for people to come over and I looked up at the clock and saw that it was getting close.  I shut the laptop down and started putting away dishes, clearing the tables, and various other tidying things.  She later thanked me for my help.  Made me feel like a million bucks to be able to serve my wife that way.
• Listening.  Yes, the thing that guys have difficulty with.  I have to be willing to set my book aside or my laptop, or whatever I'm working on, to listen to my wife's concerns and even just listen to what she has done in the day.  I have been intentional to greet her with a kiss and listen to the overview of the day.  This has set the tone for the rest of the evening and is a good way to acknowledge her place in my life.
• Talking.  Yep, I do talk to my wife.  I tell her about my day, about my dreams, about what God is doing in me and just about life in general.  
• Praying.  One of my favorite things is when we've settled down in bed and are just about ready to sleep.  We make a point to lie the events of the day before God.  We pray for people, we pray for needs, and we pray for our needs and marriage.  It is the best thing we have done and we intend on doing it for the rest of our lives!

Life has changed and I have had to learn to purposefully change the way I look at things.  I have to think about Brianna, before I think about myself.  This has been the best challenge I have ever had and it is a wonderful growing experience!  Yes, the marriage has barely started, but I know that I am married to the best woman that I will ever know!  The years ahead are going to be a challenge, but I know that as long as we base our marriage in God and spend the time necessary to feed and water it, that we will grow roots and branches that are strong and mighty!

How about you?  What have you learned in your marriage?  What has challenged you?