How To Make Your Wife Happy

Okay, so men usually agree that women are mysteries, and are very difficult to figure out.  There are so many differences that it doesn't seem like we really can connect and make our wives happy.  If you're like me, you hate to see your wife upset.  Plus, the old addage, Happy Wife, Happy Life, holds true, right?

First off, know that you aren't responsible for your wife's happiness, and the reverse holds true as well.  If you're struggling with feeling grumpy and depressed, look at yourself first and figure out why that's happening and why that is affecting you and your family.  One thing I've learned, it's not my wife's responsibility to keep me spiritually or even emotionally fed.  I have to know myself and my identity in Christ before I can be the husband I need to be.

We, as husbands, also need to realize that our wives are made so different than us.  Even if their primary love language isn't words of affirmation (yes, I did read The Five Love Languages), they still need your attention and the time you talk and listen to them.  Their minds and their hearts are relational based and if you take the time to listen and be part of their struggles and triumphs, you will find their love grows.

Some of the things I've found with Brianna that tend to bring us closer together:

• Our late night conversations.  We can spend hours snuggled in bed talking about everything under the sun.  From our dreams of the future, to current struggles, to even theological discussions, we cover a lot of topics.  I take the time to listen to her viewpoint, repeat it back to her if I don't get it, and to accept her view on things.
• Time.  Setting aside the time to spend with Brianna has been very important.  Take this weekend for instance.  We have church Saturday night and Sunday morning, and every other Sunday evening a college/career type group, so our weekends are very busy.  This Sunday afternoon and evening, we had nothing happening.  All of a sudden my sister-in-law calls and wants to play Settlers of Catan with us.  Normally we would jump on that; we love that game!  However, with how busy the weekend was, we needed the time to just be with each other.  Thus, we said no.  Now, we still want to play that game and will make the time to do so, we just needed that specific time together with each other.
• The little things.  My mother will attest that I don't like doing dishes.  Definitely not my favorite job in the world.  Yet, there are times that I do them.  Not because I love dishes, but because I love my wife and want to serve her.  Same with any chore around the house.  You may not do them regularly, but to be deliberate about serving your wife makes her feel like a queen!  Also, my wife loves head massages and I know I'm making her happy with that.  
• And I almost forgot:  Prayer.  We pray together every night and it connects us with each other and with God.  Something about being thankful, putting our faith together, and lifting our lives up to God is a huge encourager to our marriage.

I think my biggest piece of advice is to remember Ephesians 5:25-33.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^{[a] 28}In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰because we are members of his body. ³¹ "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." ³²This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 I think this passage bears a lot of thinking about and learning to apply it to your life.  It's huge to think that you take care of yourself, so you need to take care of your wife in the same way.  And also, we are little Christs, made in His image, and we can act like it.   

Your wife deserves a loving and caring husband.  She is a priceless jewel that needs your love and protection.  You are able to love her well!!

Wives: what do your husbands do that make you happy and loved?  Husbands:  what can you do to speak and care for your wife?