Persevering through the Desert

I've been trying to be productive the last couple of days, trying to use my computer as a tool and not as a time waster or brain sucker.  Thus I've been reading articles and working on my Inbox.  I took Gmail's claim that you never had to delete a message again.  Yeah, that might not have been a good idea.  4000+ emails takes a long time to work through. 

However, it felt like I was in a time machine, digging back into my past. I saw emails that made me think about that stage on my journey.  I thought about how sometimes I would get stuck, sometimes in circumstances, sometimes emotionally, and sometimes spiritually.  There was a period of time where I wasn't moving forward and was just spinning my tires.  I needed something to change.

Through a lot of prayer and thought, I came to the decision that God wanted me to put my faith out and take a risk.  I quit my job in Eugene, OR, and took a three and a half week road trip halfway across the US.  I used this trip to listen and try to follow what God wanted for me.  It started on the coast, figuring out that He wanted me to drive south and it continued across California, to Arizona, through Kansas and finally wrapped up in Missouri. 

I had many adventures on that trip, but there was one day that I want to share.

I was on my way from the Grand Canyon, headed up towards Colorado.  Right around Red Mesa, I was zipping along and saw a painted sign "Revival --->".  I smiled, thought that was cool and continued.  About a mile or so down the road, I realized " Oh, God, you want me to follow that sign!"  I turned around and headed back. 

Now this is in the middle of Arizona desert.  Red dirt and mesas all around.  The road was not paved and wasn't the nicest road in the world.   My assumption was that this would be in a hall or something like that, about a mile down the road.  Yeah, not so lucky.  About 3 miles I came upon a calf roping arena and yes, there were people roping calves.  I stopped and asked where this revival thing was. I got vague directions that really didn't help.

Back in the car I go and I start thinking.  My gas gauge was getting low and I was yet to see anymore signs.  I was starting to wonder about turning around and going back to the highway.  Then, I realized that this was a God moment.  Through out my life I've been willing to obey God, but my tendencies have been to only go so far and then either camp out there or turn back.  I liked my comfort zones and to push past them hurt.  Even in obedience to God, breaking those comfort walls, hurt.  But I realized this was a time to break that habit in my life.  This was the time to PERSEVERE and move forward.  God said and I needed to obey.

It wasn't 5 minutes and I see a sign.  Then, I see another sign and arrive at my destination.  The revival was on this personal property and turned out to be in Navajo!!  However, I was blessed and I got to bless others there.  They gave me a place to sleep and I left early the next morning.

I look back on this event in my life and I try to remember that when God gives us something to do, then we need to do it!  We need to push past the uncomfortableness.  We need to climb that mountain (My friend, Geno, just wrote a post about persevering in his hiking journey which inspired this post).

When I come to the areas in my life that are tough, I can get caught up in my wants at the time, but I have to persevere through   God does come through and I have seen His Hand time and time again in my journey.

What do you have to persevere through? 

When Distractions Get Louder Than God

If you're like me, you've heard a lot about "being still" and listening to God.  And if you're like me, you puzzle over how to do that.  I often sit in service, during a quiet time, or during worship, trying to center my thoughts on God.  Does that happen?  Not as often as I like.  I'll think about the need to talk to someone after church, or what we're having for dinner, or a project that I need to work on.  I catch myself over and over again with wandering thoughts.

Is it possible to think on God and seek Him first?

Yes.  It takes discipline and training to do that. 

³ For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. ⁴ For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. ⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, ⁶ being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.
2nd Corinthians 10:3-6 ESV

Our minds are under constant attack from several sides.   Our culture is full of distractions that take our eyes off of God and onto material and perishable things.  Think about it, how much time do we spend on the computer?  How much time is spent checking statuses, watching youtube videos about the Star Wars Kid, playing games, or even just watching TV?  I've heard that the average American spends 35 hours a week watching TV.  Can I just say "Wow!"

Beyond the obvious "we need to spend more time with God" I want to emphasize the discipline of training your mind.   Our minds naturally go to the easiest things to think about.  A habit is formed and our brain likes going that direction because it's easy.  It's easy to think about that game level you're working on, or the problem at work, or your daughter's latest drama.  It's not so easy to put our minds on God, on His Glory, on His Majesty, on the Awesome God we love and serve.  It's a battle and we need to spend more time in that battle.  Don't be mediocre.

How do we change our habits?  How do we discipline ourselves to put the priority where it needs to be?

We make choices.  We choose the good things and discard the mediocre and lukewarm habits.  Yeah, it's not something that is easy.  Changing habits is hard, but the end result is a stronger and more vibrant walk with God. 

I'm not saying all entertainment is bad, but when anything, whether movies, spouses, money, or books become bigger than God, then we have to seriously examine our lives.  Entertainment can be a good thing to have, but in moderation.

Our Action Steps

Brianna and I have recently been convicted that we spend too much time focused on trivial things.  We decided that to start our minds on better tracks, that we needed to trim some of the time wasters we fill our lives with. I recently wrote about What Place Does Our Computer Hold and that started us thinking about where our priorities should be.  Thus for the month of February we're avoiding watching movies or TV shows, taking a break from Facebook and spending more time with God and with each other. 

It's only been three days, but we're already feeling more connected with God and our minds seem to be working better. 

Yes, we're still using the computer, but it's limited to being a tool. 

The voices are loud and they can drown out God's voice.  Remove the voices and you can hear Him more.

Meet us in the comments and tell us how you deal with the distractions in this world.  How often do you check in with God?

What Makes a Great Marriage???

Calling all “God, My Weird Spouse, and I” readers!!! We would love some reader input and comments on this question, “What makes a great marriage?” JC and I have read through several excellent marriage books and we’ve both had great examples of good marriages in our parents, and we’ve asked a lot of questions and had some awesome advice given to us. So I think we’ve got a pretty good foundation to build a great marriage relationship on. But hey, we’ve only been married 5 months, and all the book knowledge in the world doesn’t compare to living out a great marriage over time… and I know there are a lot of you out there who have more great advice and thoughts on this. I’m going to share some of the things that we’ve found, and I hope you readers out there will chime in and expand on some of our thoughts or bring up some brand new ideas!

Here are a couple basic things that I think make a great marriage:

• Not to sound cliché and all Christian-ey, but honestly, the best thing you can do for your marriage is base it in a strong faith in God. When both husband and wife are believers and they keep God first in their lives, it truly revolutionizes how they will interact as a couple, because they’re not going to be left to rely on their own strength alone… They’re going to have God’s grace and wisdom ready and available whenever they need it, for better or for worse! My favorite piece of marriage advice so far was from JC’s best man, Reece. He said, “Remember to keep your focus on serving God and serving your spouse. When you do that, marriage is awesome!”
• Communication! You can’t really know or understand your spouse without good, open communication. When JC and I spend time together communicating, whether its 3 minutes or 3 hours, we get that little bit closer to each other, we understand each other that little bit better, and we both end up feeling secure and happy. It truly opens the door to feeling safe and having complete trust between spouses
• All that fun physical stuff! :D Yes, I mean sex…. But not just that. (Yes, I am blushing while writing this… sheesh) I mean all the other stuff too, like holding hands, giving a hug, sitting with your arm around the other one, stolen smooches, snuggling in bed… There is just something about physical affection and intimacy that makes marriage fun! I can’t imagine how a couple could be close and experience a great relationship without it… Everyone needs to feel wanted and desired and attractive to their spouse. God designed physical intimacy to exist only in marriage and there’s a reason for it – it binds you closer together as a married couple… a closeness that wouldn’t happen otherwise. So, make sure you give your spouse an extra kiss today when you see them! I know I will…
• JC and I are both firm believers that humor is essential to our relationship. We discovered early on that we shared a common sense of humor and it has made for some awesome times. Sharing a good laugh together feels good, and makes both people happy! But more than just laughing at the silly stuff in life, we’ve found that laughter makes a huge difference in our ability to deal with issues. Humor helps keep possible conflict issues in perspective. It is so easy to make mountains out of molehills if we let animosity, irritation, or offence rule… so keeping a lighter perspective helps us to see how little and/or silly some of these things are (I find this incredibly useful!) It also puts us in a way better mood to bring the issue up with the other person!
• An attitude of Camaraderie. An online dictionary defined camaraderie as “a spirit of friendly good fellowship” and “mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together.” I like that! As a couple, you need to have an attitude that you take joy in being friends and in doing things together. Your spouse should be your best, most trusted friend… the person you love being with and fellowshipping with more than anyone else. We’ve found that even the simple things, when done together at friends, brings us even closer.

And that’s all that is coming to my head at the moment, so there you go…

So, what can you guys add? We want to hear what you think makes for a great marriage!

Thoughts on Tithing....

My hubby is in the process of writing another blog entry over at “The Christian Dollar” where he is now a regular contributor. (I’m very proud of him!!!) He’s writing an article on “Tithe, Give, Save, Live” at the moment, which is a phrase we hear our Pastor use on a regular basis from the pulpit… As I read through his draft of the article, we started to discuss tithing and how/why we are supposed to do it, and how could he fit all that info in his 800 word article. This inspired me to come up with a post here on our blog about tithing and what we as a couple, believe in regards to it.

We know that tithing was originally set up as a part of the Old Covenant, under Mosaic Law. The Israelite people were commanded by God to give a “tithe” (literally, a tenth) of all their income back to God. There were many laws and rules regarding every little detail of the tithe, and if that interests you a great amount, go and read through the books of the Law – Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and Numbers. Have fun! ;)

However we are no longer under the Law……

Way before the Law was ever instituted though, if you look in Genesis 14, it talks about Abraham giving a tithe of his goods to Melchizedek, the priest of the Most High God, after receiving those material blessings from God and a spoken blessing from Melchizedek. Also, in Genesis 18, Jacob promises God that he would give Him a tenth of all that he has for the rest of his life, if God will indeed bless him as He had promised to. These tithes were before the law, and were not done out of compulsion or in response to a commandment, but out of thanksgiving for blessings received or promises of blessings to come. These men walked with God and their tithing was an act of love for their God. They realized that walking with God faithfully yielded blessings in their lives, and they were thankful and never forgot the source of those blessings. Tithing and thanksgiving to the Source of their blessings and provision went hand in hand. (Deuteronomy 8:18 “And you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day.”)

I think that the example laid down by these men is a great foundation from which to look at tithing/giving in the New Covenant. Now, there is no specific “command” in the New Testament regarding tithing. Nowhere does it say, “Give God a tithe!” However, cheerfully giving financially and materially is mentioned throughout the New Testament. A good way to look at it would be to say that we as believers are “Blessed to be a Blessing”. We give to bless God and show thanksgiving to Him and also to be a blessing to those around us. We love God and we love others, and giving is just an expression of that.

We do give to our churches, both to provide income for our Pastors, which is biblical (see 1 Timothy 5:17-18, 1 Corinthians 9:14, and Galatians 6:6), and also to pay for the facilities that we use for church and various programs/outreaches we do. This is definitely the more practical side of giving. This is where most people will give their tithe - to their home church.

Beyond the tithe, we as believers are to give freely into other things as well. If we look in Acts at how the early church lived, we can see that they gave of their money and possessions freely to those believers who were in need. They took care of widows and orphans and made sure that none were in lack. They gave out of love, with a cheerful heart. I think 2 Corinthians 9:6-15 is another great example of how and why we give…. 

⁶ But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. ⁷ So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. ⁹ As it is written:

“He has dispersed abroad,
He has given to the poor;
His righteousness endures forever.”

¹⁰ Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, ¹¹ while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God. ¹² For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God, ¹³ while, through the proof of this ministry, they glorify God for the obedience of your confession to the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal sharing with them and all men, ¹⁴ and by their prayer for you, who long for you because of the exceeding grace of God in you. ¹⁵ Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 

God is the source of our money, plain and simple. He asks us to give out of a cheerful heart to every good work. And as we are faithful with what He has given us and we sow bountifully, He is faithful to increase us so that we can in turn bless more people. I believe this is the heart and soul of giving under the New Covenant. We are the hands and feet of Jesus… we are His body here on the earth. If He wants to bless someone, how does He do it? Sure, He can and does, give favor to His people in the form of job promotions, unexpected checks in the mail, etc. But more often than not, He uses His people. He asks us to give of our money, and our time and effort as well, to others around us. His love pours through us to those around us and as they are blessed by our obedience to God, we are blessed more, because He sees we are faithful with little, so He pours out even more.

So why do we as Christians give: Firstly, we give to God (through our tithes in church) as an act of Thanksgiving for we know that all good things come from Him and He is the source of our finances and possessions. He has given us such amazing gifts and wonderful provision, so we give back a portion as an act of love. (This money takes care of our Pastors and churches.) Secondly, we give to those around us in order to be the hands and feet of Jesus and meet their needs and show them love. We give finances to missionaries, to outreach groups, to the family whose car just broke down and they can’t afford to fix it… We give to bring a smile to someone’s face after a terrible day… We give just to allow someone else feel what it’s like to be blessed by God. 

What about you? Does your family tithe or give on a regular basis? If so, why? If not, why? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Be aware of what your wife does

I have a friend who shared this article on Twitter.  Basically the author talks about not undoing what your wife has done throughout the day.

He uses the example of leaving clothes on the table after his wife has cleaned it over and over during the day.  Made me think about my marriage and what I do that could undo what Brianna has done.  The stuff on the table is definitely one thing.  Books and papers on the sofas is another.  Leaving my lunch stuff on the counter after making lunch.  Yeah, I do it.

I think the gist of the article is to remember to be proactive with your relationship with your wife.  It takes thought to make your wife feel special.  And she definitely deserves to be have her husband make her special!

Husbands:  What stuff do you do that can undo your wife's actions during the day?  Wives:  What can you gently talk to your husband about in this regard?

A Haunting Question....

Lately God has been talking to me about a few things... which is nothing new. I mean, He's always bringing things to my attention so that I continue to grow and mature, but I've had a constant nagging thought in my head for some time. And it's not my fault… really. It's Focus on the Family's fault! :)

Let me explain. A couple of months ago, our church College and Career group started watching Focus on the Family's "The Truth Project" - a set of 13 dvds (each an hour long) that deal with developing a Bible-based Christian worldview. We've watched the first 4 videos, but it is the first one that stays with me. The teacher on the dvds, Dr. Del Tackett, presented what he called a "haunting question":

"Do you really believe

that what you believe

is really real?"

Of course, any good little Christian instantly responds with a resounding "yes!". Of course, I really believe the Bible is true! Of course I really believe that God and everything about Him is true! Well, let me stop you for a moment and ask you,

"Do you really?"

Don't get me wrong, I am not by any means having a crisis of faith and doubting what I know to be true! I am however, asking us to pause and really search what's inside us and truly think about it. If we really believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and that it is absolutely 100% true, why don't we act like it?

Why do we forget what His word says about sin and continue to live as though we're one with the world?

If we believe that Christ died so we could be free, why do we continue to wallow in bondage to our old lives?

If we truly believe that God's will for us is always best, why do we push against it and not completely surrender the moment He calls us?

If He said He would always be with us and never forsake us, why do we questions where He is in times of trouble?

If His Word states that every "good and perfect gift" comes from Him and that God does NOT tempt man (see James 1:12-14), why, when calamity and crisis and temptation strike, do we think God is causing it?

Why do we think that living in poverty is godly, when His Word makes it clear that God wants us blessed in every area of life?

If there is no possible temptation that can come against me that God cannot help me overcome, why do I succumb to the sin?

If God's Word says, "Do not Worry", "Do not Fear", why are we, as a Christian culture, consumed with them?

If we believe that the Word of God is true, why do we cut out the parts that we don't like?

If the Holy Spirit is a member of the Trinity and God (as a whole) is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, why don't we truly allow Him to move in our lives and churches? If we know that God is completely good and holy, why is that part of God scary?

If God's Word says He will provide for us, why do we immediately freak out when that unexpected bill comes in the mail?

If we truly believe that "With God all things are possible", why do we doubt His ability?

So how do we remedy this? How do we go from this flesh-minded mentality, which we all have, to where we know we're supposed to be - having the mind of Christ? How do we go from uncertainty to unshakable faith?

Now I know none of us are perfect and we all struggle with acting on and walking in God's Word. It is only through the process of spending time with God, through His Word, in prayer, in church, etc, that we grow into more mature believers, and as such, our faith grows too. As we spend more time with God, in His Word, in His Presence, we come to know that He is who He says He is.

He is to be fully trusted.

He is only Good.

He is Compassionate and Merciful and will always forgive us.

He desires only the best for us.

He protects us.

He is Holy.

He is Love.

He is Faithful.

He is All-Knowing, All-Powerful, and Ever-Present…. just to name a few.

The more we seek His face, the more we know Him and His glory, and the more our faith and dependency on Him grows, we get to the point where we can say that we absolutely "really believe that what we believe is really real!" because our lives and our walk with Christ will show it. The closer we walk with Him, the more we end up living like him, and then the doubts and fears in our hearts will begin to fade. I love 2 Corinthians 3:17-18, "¹⁷ Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. ¹⁸ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." The more we see God, the more we become like Him. As we are changed into His image, it affects our countenance, our attitudes, our perspectives, our beliefs, our faith... our LIFE!

If we examine our own hearts and ask ourselves that "haunting question", I think we would all agree that there are some areas where we need to grow. I know I sure do! So let's take this as a challenge and let's press into the things of God with a renewed zeal! Let's seek the face of God and put Him first in our lives and let's see the changes He makes in us. Let's watch as our lives begin to truly reflect that we do really believe that what we believe is real, because we're living it!!!

How To Make Your Wife Happy

Okay, so men usually agree that women are mysteries, and are very difficult to figure out.  There are so many differences that it doesn't seem like we really can connect and make our wives happy.  If you're like me, you hate to see your wife upset.  Plus, the old addage, Happy Wife, Happy Life, holds true, right?

First off, know that you aren't responsible for your wife's happiness, and the reverse holds true as well.  If you're struggling with feeling grumpy and depressed, look at yourself first and figure out why that's happening and why that is affecting you and your family.  One thing I've learned, it's not my wife's responsibility to keep me spiritually or even emotionally fed.  I have to know myself and my identity in Christ before I can be the husband I need to be.

We, as husbands, also need to realize that our wives are made so different than us.  Even if their primary love language isn't words of affirmation (yes, I did read The Five Love Languages), they still need your attention and the time you talk and listen to them.  Their minds and their hearts are relational based and if you take the time to listen and be part of their struggles and triumphs, you will find their love grows.

Some of the things I've found with Brianna that tend to bring us closer together:

• Our late night conversations.  We can spend hours snuggled in bed talking about everything under the sun.  From our dreams of the future, to current struggles, to even theological discussions, we cover a lot of topics.  I take the time to listen to her viewpoint, repeat it back to her if I don't get it, and to accept her view on things.
• Time.  Setting aside the time to spend with Brianna has been very important.  Take this weekend for instance.  We have church Saturday night and Sunday morning, and every other Sunday evening a college/career type group, so our weekends are very busy.  This Sunday afternoon and evening, we had nothing happening.  All of a sudden my sister-in-law calls and wants to play Settlers of Catan with us.  Normally we would jump on that; we love that game!  However, with how busy the weekend was, we needed the time to just be with each other.  Thus, we said no.  Now, we still want to play that game and will make the time to do so, we just needed that specific time together with each other.
• The little things.  My mother will attest that I don't like doing dishes.  Definitely not my favorite job in the world.  Yet, there are times that I do them.  Not because I love dishes, but because I love my wife and want to serve her.  Same with any chore around the house.  You may not do them regularly, but to be deliberate about serving your wife makes her feel like a queen!  Also, my wife loves head massages and I know I'm making her happy with that.  
• And I almost forgot:  Prayer.  We pray together every night and it connects us with each other and with God.  Something about being thankful, putting our faith together, and lifting our lives up to God is a huge encourager to our marriage.

I think my biggest piece of advice is to remember Ephesians 5:25-33.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^{[a] 28}In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰because we are members of his body. ³¹ "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." ³²This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 I think this passage bears a lot of thinking about and learning to apply it to your life.  It's huge to think that you take care of yourself, so you need to take care of your wife in the same way.  And also, we are little Christs, made in His image, and we can act like it.   

Your wife deserves a loving and caring husband.  She is a priceless jewel that needs your love and protection.  You are able to love her well!!

Wives: what do your husbands do that make you happy and loved?  Husbands:  what can you do to speak and care for your wife? 

Moving Pictures vs. The Written Word

I used to be quite the reader.  I read voraciously through out my teen years.  Novels mostly, Sci-fi and fantasy were quite high up on the list.  I also liked mysteries, westerns, and the Christian novel.  Basically if it told a story, I liked it.

Then I went to college.  There, reading consisted of textbooks, textbooks, research, and, yes, more textbooks.   Since I had to read every word in order to comprehend it, I would spend hours in the library, at Sharis, in the park and anywhere I could find a comfortable chair, reading my books.  Usually I'd be ahead in my reading (learned a lot about scheduling and time management back then), but still, my brain would feel stretched and fried by the end of the evening.

My recreation of choice changed from reading a novel to watching movies.  Springfield has a lovely $1.50 theater where it was quite easy to see movies for cheap.  Most Friday nights would find me and my friends watching the latest action film or comedy or whatever piqued our interest at that time.  It was common to hit the theater and meet people you hadn't seen for awhile there.  Almost a social networking site without being on the internet and 100s of miles apart.

All that to say is that I've slowly gotten back into reading novels.  However, I'm finding it more difficult to be sucked in.  I just picked up a book that my wife had, and started reading, yet, even through the first chapter and I wanted to set it down and go do something else.  That either means that Francine Rivers isn't as engaging an author as I remember or that I lost my focus...  hmmmm...

The other thing I've noticed in my reading habits is that I go through cycles.  I've been trying to read a lot of non-fiction, uplifting and educational books lately.  Some grab me, make me interested in seeing how the author expounds on his point, others leave me bored and wanting more.  Again, is this the author's fault or is it my lack of focus?

Or is it that explosions have become much more interesting than the written word?

I hope not.  The worlds that books open up are myriad and filled with a variety of creatures and thoughts.  I want to explore them for the rest of my life.