How to love your wife

We all know the story:  Husband comes in after work, turns on the tv and starts to veg.  Wife comes in and starts to talk.  Husband grunts, wife wants to know what is going on in his life, husband grunts and turns up the tv.  Wife gets mad and starts yelling and eventually leaves.  (I think I just described every sitcom out there).

Men, this is not a good thing.  If your wife does not feel loved, listened to, and a part of you, she will be lonely and feel like you don't care.  This leads to dysfunction and an unhappy marriage.  Take the initiative and be involved in your wife's life. 

Here are a few practical ways to love your wife:

• Spend time with her.  Set aside the computer, the football game, the puttering in the yard, the video games and take the time to engage with her.  One of the things my wife appreciates is when I show her love by being available for her when she gets home.  I try to do chores or something not computer related when I know she's coming home soon.  
  
• Do little things for her.  Putting away dishes, doing a load of laundry, or any various chores speaks a lot to your wife.  Even the act of opening a door will show her that you love her and care for her.
  
• Be romantic.  Don't turn off that part of you just because you're married.  Bringing home a bouquet of flowers for no particular reason makes your wife feel special.  Say "I love you" and "you're beautiful" and mean it.  Again, make your wife feel special.  Don't do it in a selfish manner, but put her before yourself.
  
  
• Remember, she's made of spaghetti, following topics one right after another.  I know that can be difficult and by remembering that, you can switch boxes better.  Let her know that she's moving too fast or that you need to switch boxes before she starts talking.
  
• I know that as men we have been taught to be closed in our emotions and not let anyone in.  Guys, that's one of the surest ways to drive your wife away!  Learn how to let your walls down and let your wife see your feelings and your deepest desires.  She will respond in a myriad of ways to that intimacy and your marriage will be stronger for that.
  
• Be the leader and the protector of your marriage. 
  
• Be willing to admit your faults and be willing to work on your marriage.  Everyone can learn to love more, and you're no exception. 
  
• Take time to grow in God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to guide your life and pull you closer to Him.  Be disciplined in your reading of the Word, even if you don't like reading.  It is the best way to learn how to live your life in love and respect.
  
• Pray together.  Make a habit of going to bed and praying over each other before you go to sleep.
  
• Read marriage books and learn more ways to love your wife.  Ask the elders you know who have good, strong, and Godly marriages about what they have done.  

I know there are a lot more ways and methods to build a strong marriage.  Be open and loving to your wife and you will see yourself change and then you'll see change in her. 

Have you tried any of these ideas?  How did they work?  What other things do you do to love your wife?

JC Starts a Bucket List

A number of people have been talking about bucket lists (or I should say I've seen a few people talking about it over the last few years and I watched part of that movie with Morgan Freeman).

The concept intrigues me.  Do I go for the lifetime goals or do I make short term goals?  Do they have to be serious or silly or odd or what?

Being the geek that I am, I googled it.  Seems that a bucket list should be things that are somewhat challenging and mean something.  They can be serious, or silly; short or long.  Some people categorize them, others just write them as they come.

That said, I've decided to start a bucket list!

JC's First 10 Bucket List Items!

1. See Niagara Falls
2. Sky Dive at least once
3. Read the Bible through in one sitting
4. Climb the Washington Monument
5. Shoot a Moose (and eat it)
6. Eat snake
7. Visit Scotland again.
8. Celebrate my 10th Anniversary in Hawaii
9. Become a father
10. Catch a fish from a boat
11. Become debt free

I'm sure I will add to these over time and I welcome your encouragement as my life progresses.

What would you put on your bucket list?  Do you have one?  Have you started checking off items?

Content and thankful

I'm sitting in my living room, feeling very content.  There's sun shining through the window, the temperature is actually warm, and my wife is reading a book in the chaise.  Life is good right now.

Our weather is slowly getting better.  We had snow a little bit last week, but this week is supposed to be warm enough for rain.  That will be a nice change.  We're starting to get stuff together for a garden.  Started zucchini, lettuce, chives, basil, oregano, thyme, morning glory, and sweet peas.  We'll be planting carrots a bit later outside.  Going to be nice to have some veggies growing.

I spent the morning at church.  We have a daily corporate prayer time and it has greatly helped my growth with God and is a great part of the day.  After that Pastor and I went for coffee and had some good conversation.  I love our church and the relationships that I'm building.

After lunch I went over to my father-in-laws and did some sawing.  I'm in the middle of a project that I'll reveal later.  It was a lot of fun to be able to use the table saw and work with wood.

Life is pretty good right now. 

Thank You, Lord for this day, for the favor you give us, and the blessings showered upon us.  Thank You for our house and the ability to make it our home.  Thank You.  Amen.

How about you?  What's God doing in your life that You're thankful for?  Meet us in the comments!

When Chaos Comes Knocking

First off I must apologize for not writing more on this blog.  Life got in the way there for awhile.  We are back and will be posting more often.

Second, to discuss what happened I need a time machine...  What?  No time machines handy?  I guess you'll have to put up with me telling the story of a spewing toilet and the turmoil it caused.

Third - Just so that I have a nice three point introduction, here is the story:

The Story

It starts innocently enough.  An article I had written had just been published on The Christian Dollar When Plans Don't Work Out.  I had talked about when chaos strikes and your plans are changed or thrown out the window, turn to God and remember His Plan for you never gets thwarted. 

It's interesting how things happen to test what God has been talking to us about.

That day I walked to church for prayer and walked back, nice weather, and a good time.  I open my door and descend into our basement.  What do I discover but a pool of water about a 1/4 in deep at my entryway.  Oh boy....  Turns out that the toilet line out to the main sewer had been blocked and every time my neighbor's laundry drained, I got a flood.

After calling the landlady and getting the neighbor to stop washing clothes, I attempted to clean up.  Yeah, not having a wet vac really slowed the process down.  Then the clean up guys came and told me that the bacteria in the sewer water was dangerous and that they needed to remove the floors and sanitize.  Oh.  So you mean I need to move all my stuff out and allow you access.

Thus started a marathon packing!  We slept at my in-laws (Shout out to Richard and Julie!  You guys are a blessing!), packed up our stuff, and then moved it all into a friend's garage (Shout out to Dennis and Laura!  Thank you so very much!) with the help of some guys from church (Thanks to Darryl, Kyle, Glenn, Troy, and Devon!  You guys rock!).  From that Tuesday to the afternoon of that Sunday, we packed, moved, and cleaned.  My wife and her mother did a great job cleaning everything except the floors!

Let's take a moment and talk about how I had to deal with my ways of thinking.  I'll be honest, we both had moments where we wanted to worry and be annoyed that we were having to move.  It was tempting to think we'd be stuck staying with Brianna's parents for a long period of time, that our stuff would like hanging out in a garage, that we wouldn't find a new place, and if we did, we wouldn't be able to afford it.

However, both of us knew that God does care about us and does have plans for us.  We had to rest in God's hands, let Him be the center of our lives, and have faith that a new place would be found.  After all, we had been thinking about moving before all this happened and had started asking God for a new place for the same amount of money.  We knew that it'd take a miracle to get a place like what we wanted.  And our expectations were met...

In our searching, we had a couple leads that fell through. Then we heard about this Coop housing and that there was a two bedroom available.

Get this, that Tuesday night, a week from when I discovered the flood, we visited with the couple who makes the membership agreements.  We looked at the place and it matched everything we were asking for.  Even the ability to paint and to have a garden.  We signed the papers and got the keys.  By Saturday we were all moved in.

We've been painting and getting settled this last week.  It's almost to the point where we can feel at home.

Best thing:  Same amount of money for almost twice the space. 

Chaos came knocking.  We had to remember that God brings order.  We rested in Him.  Now we are blessed with a great place and a reminder to be focused on Him!

Meet us in the comments and tell us about what God's been doing in your lives. 

Video Blog

Made this the other day on my way to the church.  Not a lot of content, but it's a good first video blog.

February is a Month Of Celebrating!

I always knew February was a special month, but until I got married, I really didn't appreciate it as much as I do now.  I mean, we all know that it's the only month to start with an "F" and it's a funny sounding word to say.  It's full of holidays:  Groundhog's Day (which is only notable because Bill Murray got stuck in it), President's Day (Yes, for those who didn't know, Washington and Lincoln were both born in February, but they get to share a holiday), and it's the only month that has a Leap Day in it!  All in all, February is a special month.

What's that?  I forgot the most important holiday?  Oh, that's right, I was born on the 1st.  No?  Not that one?  hmmmmmm....  Oh, right Valentine's Day, the day that singles like to hate and couples like to enjoy.  For me, as the previous post talks about, I like it because I got the best answer to the best question on that day in 2011.  I think I'll let Brianna talk about how we celebrated it this year, though.

I forgot something else?  No, actually I didn't forget it.  The 18th of February is another one of my favorite days because it was the day my wife came into the world.  It took awhile for us to find each other, but she has improved my life and I'm sure she's improved the world. 

Oh, I must go!  We have a birthday dinner to prepare!

Why is February special for you?

A Valentine's Proposal

Ah, Valentine's Day... a day of love, chocolate, flowers, and mushy cards.  A day where sweethearts all over the country declare their undying love for each other in flowery poetic words.  I love Valentine's Day... even when I was single I loved Valentine's Day, because it was all about love and I knew that someday I would find someone who I could share it with!  This year though, Valentine's carries a lot more meaning for me, because it was last year on Valentine's Day that JC proposed to me. 

 He had made the trip up from Butte, Montana to spend a whole 8 days with me... from February 12th to 20th.  I was so excited to be able to spend that length of time with him!  We would get to celebrate his belated birthday when he got here, and then Valentine's Day, and then my birthday... all within those 8 days. 

Before this visit, we had spent a fair bit of time talking about proposals and marriage.  We both knew we would be getting married some day, and we had even talked about what kind of ring I wanted when the day came for him to propose.  (I asked for a white gold ring with three stones.  I wanted the center stone to be colored and the two outside stones to be diamonds.  I expressly asked for small stones, as I have never been a fan of big jewellery.)  During these conversations, we had talked about how he would be waiting for his tax return in March or April or May and then be thinking about looking for rings.  Of course, he never came out and actually said those words, he just kind of hinted at waiting and I ran with it.  Little did I now that my devious boyfriend already had a ring picked out, an exact match to my request, and that he had brought it with him in February. 

On Sunday afternoon (the 13th), JC went in to have "the talk" with my Dad.  I knew he was in Dad's office talking to him about our plans for the future, but I honestly didn't think it was because he had a ring with him on this trip.  I had so completely bought the idea that he was waiting for several months to buy a ring that I figured he was just asking for Dad's blessing so that next time I visited Montana, he would have the ring and would then propose.  Was I ever wrong!  My beloved boyfriend was downstairs in my Dad's "Man Cave" asking for his blessing to propose to me the next day and showing him the ring he had picked out. 

Well, Valentine's Day came and we enjoyed a nice lazy day together, going for a walk and doing lots of talking and laughing.  We had reservations at Redstone Restaurant in Red Deer for dinner and then we planned to go for a walk around Bower Ponds after dinner.  We thoroughly enjoyed a lovely dinner together, feasting on some absolutely delicious food! It was romantic and I loved it!  As we were finishing our dessert, JC informed me that he had one more gift for me (we had exchanged Valentine's gifts that morning), but that I couldn't open it until we were at Bower Ponds.
My mind raced for a moment.... Was it a ring?!?!?!?  But once again, my brain reassured me that he had not bought a ring yet, and so there was no way the "gift" was a proposal.  I was sure the gift was going to be something like a pretty necklace or a keepsake of some kind. 

We arrived at Bower Ponds and bundled up in warmer jackets and gloves.  It was almost too cold for a walk, but JC was adamant that we go... "Just for a short one".  (I didn't notice, but apparently he had slipped a wrapped package into his jacket as we were leaving the car)  We walked along the path until we got to the bridge over the Ponds.  We stopped there and JC said I could finally open my present.

He handed me a gift wrapped box about 8 inches by 5 inches, and about 2 inches thick.  I was immediately very curious as to what it was. I pulled off the paper and held a brand new boxed Bible in my hands.  I can admit, my immediate thought was "Really?  A Bible?  I know we both love God and we know that someday we'll be serving in ministry together.... but a Bible for Valentine’s Day?"  Within about two seconds though, my brain realized that this was indeed a very cool gift (I love Bibles) and thanked him for it.  He urged me to take it out of the box, so I pulled it out and looked at it.  It was a pretty color, but what caught me was the name inscribed on the bottom corner of the front cover... "Brianna Reagan".  It was at that moment that I finally realized that something was up and I started to freak out…   He told me to look at the dedication page inside the front cover.  I turned there and read the following words:

To my Lovely, Beautiful Bree.
From your Beloved JC.
On February 14th, 2011.
On the Occasion of: 
           WILL YOU MARRY ME?

At this point, he put his arm around me and held out a ring box with a lovely ring inside it.  He said, "I love you so very much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  Will you marry me?"  I immediately started crying and nodded and said "YES!"  I turned to him and I got to kiss him for the first time.  (We had both agreed to save our first kiss for engagement, and neither of us had ever kissed anyone else, so it was indeed, a first kiss!) I kept crying and smiling and laughing, and finally yelled at the top of my lungs, "WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!"  There were about 3 people skating on the Pond and I'm sure they all heard me.  : )  

JC didn’t know my ring size so he hadn’t been able to properly size the ring before giving it to me, but he had a solution!  When he purchased the ring, he had bought a beautiful silver chain to keep the ring on until we could get it into a jeweller. We slipped the ring onto the chain and he fastened it around my neck so I could keep it close. 

We finally decided to head back to the car since we were both freezing.  Of course, we made quite a few stops to smooch some more…  Once we got back into the warm car we knew we had a couple phone calls to make.  The first was to my best girlfriend, Marie, who I had promised to call first whenever the day came that I had been proposed to.  I got her on the phone and when I said “Hi Marie.  This is Brianna”, my cell crackled and she didn’t hear me.  She asked who was calling and as soon as I said my name again, she burst out with one of her famous “Marie Squeals”.  She said that there was only one reason that I would call her on Valentine’s Day and she asked if I was engaged.  : )  Yup, I assured her I was and she proceeded to scream some more.  She was almost as excited as I was!  Then we called JC’s parents on speakerphone and chatted with them for a few minutes.  They congratulated us and wanted to hear the story of how things went.  It was a lot of fun!  
 
We headed back to Rocky and my family was still up when we got to my house. More congrats followed and more hugs and smiles.  We posed for pictures and I got to show off both my beautiful ring, but also my very unique new Bible.  

I went to sleep that night with a huge smile on my face, knowing that I was going to marry the man of my dreams and being so thankful to have the wonderful guy I now was able to call my fiancé.  The cool thing is, now that we’ve been married for a little over 6 months, I still go to sleep with a huge smile on my face every night… not to mention waking up with one too.